Bikes and Berry Dreams

Holding on through a heavy summer

Sophie and I are currently recovering from our busiest week of the summer so far. It was a doozy—a tween STEAM program at the library, an art day camp, a kids writing workshop, and lots of medical appointments for me.

She's also been longing for a bike since she outgrew her last one. I finally found one in Chattanooga that met most of the features she was looking for, from a store where I could use PayPal in 4 to spread out the payments, with a coupon to cover the tax.

Sophie helped me clear out our car and put the back seats down so we could fit the bike in the back. It worked—but it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Fortunately, we got it into the car and unloaded the bike yesterday, so she finally got to ride around the neighborhood. I also got her a bike cover and bell, but I still need to figure out what kind of lock to get.

Today, I am EXHAUSTED. I didn't get any downtime this week because whenever Sophie was at one of her activities, I had to head to a doctor’s appointment or physical therapy session. I also didn't get as much writing time as I needed, though I managed to get a little writing done.

I'm working on paperwork to get our income-based YMCA membership renewed this week so I can take Sophie to the pool and get back to my water therapy now that I'm nearly done with PT in the clinic again. I'm also working on the draft of my forest activity book—the one I'm planning to publish by the end of this summer.

We're still working on Sophie’s forest room. A friend sent us a beautiful wallpaper mural. Within the next couple of weeks, we'll get it hung up (with some help), along with a few other pictures, posters, and shelves. Since Sophie’s love for the outdoors inspired my forest book project, I'm also looking for ways to incorporate some of those book ideas at home.

I haven't told Sophie this because I don't want to get her hopes up in case it doesn't work out, but one special goal I've made for the summer is to try and take her berry picking. I've been doing some research on what it's like and how to make it a bit easier with lymphedema and other chronic diseases.

I'm not positive yet if I can manage that type of activity day, but I'm hopeful enough to try now that my neck and back are so much better. I haven't had a back spasm in three days, so that's a great development. It makes me so hopeful for our future.

This week, on top of getting Sophie to the Y, working on her room and housework, I'll also continue to work on my writing projects and deal with medical appointments. I'm more than ready for our weeks to slow down since it's been such a challenging time financially. Between PT, blood tests, imaging, prescriptions, and co-pays, I'm tapped out and keep shifting money from one bucket to another, and have officially run out of buckets for it all. I'm scheduled to wrap up my physical therapy in-clinic treatment plan this week, and I'm getting an ultrasound on Wednesday to follow up on my ruptured cyst. My hope is that I'll finally be able to catch my breath on medical expenses soon... perhaps after my next bit of dental work and compression fitting in July. Fingers crossed.

It's not a perfect summer, and I'm not a perfect juggler, but it's also not a summer devoid of hope. I am still making slow progress to improve upon my health and get back on my feet.

I'm not there yet but I know I will get there one day soon.

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Thanks for reading. If you're also navigating a season that feels heavier than you'd hoped, I see you. It's okay to be tired and still hopeful. It's okay to be trying your best, even if your best changes from day to day.

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Here’s to slow healing, sticky summer days, and chasing berry dreams—one small step at a time.