Last night, my daughter’s dad messaged to say he'd “probably have to skip” this child support payment for Sophie. The payment he was supposed to pay yesterday. I didn't know what I could say that would do any good, so I simply asked him to give me more notice in the future.
He said nothing.
I know I'm not supposed to be surprised by this stuff. After 10 years, I know I'm not supposed to be surprised that he doesn't ask about our daughter. Or that he doesn't think child support is important. That he doesn't stop to think his 10-year-old needs that money.
Honestly, I'm not surprised… but I'm tired. I'm tired of his attitude because I don't understand how anyone could treat a child the way he's treated Sophie. I'm tired of his excuses and how he blames me for his choices. I'm tired of depending upon that bit of child support since I'm still not back on my feet.
Mostly, I'm tired of that.
In 2024, I've tried to focus on rebuilding my health. It's been a very long slog, and I have to keep reminding myself of how poorly I was doing at the start of the year. I have to remind myself how I couldn't stand for five minutes, and now I've had some good days where I've stood for 40. I have to remind myself it's progress that my elbow is almost as strong as it was before the injury. I remind myself that my knees will be stronger by the end of the summer. I remind myself that I am finding more doctors who listen to me. I remind myself that I knew this year wasn't going to be easy.
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