Maybe It's a Single Mother Thing?

#JusticeForGrant isn't content for me. It's real life.

Sophia, Me, Angie, and Gracie

This has been a stressful season for me and my daughter, Sophie. Getting so sick at the worst possible time, right when I was trying to transition my writing over to Substack—right when I quit making any real money on Medium—I feel like a wrecking ball has blasted through my life.

Then, this past weekend, I was informed that my daughter's dad moved across the country early last month, so I had to break that bit strange of news to her.

She's been estranged from her dad for a while, and “lucky” to see him once or twice a year since 2020—even when he lived 20 or 30 minutes away.

Last April, Sophie put her foot down and decided she didn't want to see him again unless he could prove to her that he would make an effort to know her. She rescinded his invitation to her birthday party, and told him he's like a venus fly trap.

He told me to tell her that he understood, and that he knew words weren't action, but he wanted to be in her life.

And then he did nothing. Just as he had always done nothing… Until he moved out of state with Sophie’s younger siblings and didn't even bother to tell her.

So now, we're in this yucky place of dealing with the natural mixed feelings of a nine-year-old who can't really stand her dad because of the way he's treated her.

Yet on the other hand… she feels really sad that her dad wouldn't take her seriously, and she's sad she doesn't have many more family bonds.

Especially at this time of year.

When I confronted her father about how inexcusable it was to leave without giving her a warning, he went off on me and claimed it was all my fault.

Conveniently, he forgot how I only quit sending her to his house for visits because he neglected her—so she quit wanting to go.

As he turned everything around on me, he also threatened legal action against me, claiming my single brief message that he broke our daughter's heart was “harassment.”

It was such a gross and exhausting conversation. There's no communicating or co-parenting with someone who uses DARVO tactics, you know?

But the whole thing reminded me, once again, why I'm so serious about #justiceforgrant. Why I support Angie, Grant, and Gracie, and why I'm in it for the long haul.

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Obviously, Sophie’s dad hasn't committed the same crimes as Gracie's father, Aaron. He has hurt his children, however, and he has threatened me a lot over the years with false accusations.

Like Aaron, Sophie’s dad has also told anyone who will listen to him that I'm crazy… all while neglecting or abusing our child.

Sometimes, in all of the social media-ness of our mission to get justice for Grant Solomon, I think a lot of people forget that Angie Solomon is a single mother.

Sometimes… I think they forget this isn't “content.”

I can't tell you how many times people have threatened to leave Freedomforgracie/justiceforgrant because they don't like something somebody else said. Or, they don't like how it was said.

I've been writing about Angie's fight for justice since June 2021. I've seen many content creators use my stories in their videos or podcasts, and I've seen a lot of creators treat #justiceforgrant like content to cover in hopes of gaining more likes and views.

If it doesn't get them the clicks they were hoping for?

I think some of them give up and move onto other stories.

It just rubs me the wrong way, you know? Because it feels like using and discarding real human trauma for selfish reasons.

It's one of the big things I have against true crime as an entertainment genre.

Trauma isn't entertainment. I'm not belittling the genre. During my pregnancy with Sophie, I was so depressed and traumatized that all I could watch on television WAS true crime. I played Investigation Discovery every night until I fell asleep back then.

I will always remember what that hopelessness felt like.

I never want to live that way again.

Angie is a real-life single mom who hasn't had a minute to grieve the death of her son, Grant, because she's been forced to fight for his justice.

Gracie is a real child. Like her mother, she's survived Aaron Solomon's abuse. And like her mother, I doubt she can truly grieve as long as there's been no real investigation into her brother's death.

So it breaks my heart when people talk about “leaving” the cause because they don't like how somebody worded something.

A lot of people don't like MY involvement with Angie and Gracie because they think I'm too biased against Christianity. They forget that I grew up in Christianity. That I spent more than half my life “living for Jesus.”

Sometimes, I think they also forget that I'm a single mom. That I've often faced the stigma of that label from so-called Christians.

I can't tell you what it's like when you're a single mom with no parents of her own.

I could never count on my folks. They abused me, and now they're both gone.

Angie could never count on her parents, either.

When we found ourselves displaced by abusive relationships in Tennessee, in 2013, we didn't know each other. But neither one of us had family to take us in and help us fight our uphill battles.

We each had to spend many lonely nights fighting the stigma of being called crazy, and doing the very best we could do for our children.

Doesn't that make sense? Some of this is a shared pain. A shared grief.

My heart breaks for Angie. My heart breaks for Gracie. I'll never know Grant in this lifetime and that breaks my heart.

My heart breaks for my daughter Sophie.

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No matter how many people come and go, I'm determined to keep fighting for Angie, Grant, and Gracie.

I'll keep fighting because I know Angie's heart, and I know what it's like to suffer from DARVO tactics in Tennessee.

I know that even now after more than ten years of hell and healing, there are still days where it feels like no one gets what we're fighting for. And some days still feel so awfully lonely.

Single motherhood is not well understood by many people here in Tennessee. Especially single motherhood without the privileges of a family home to go back to or folks to take you in when you're sick and struggling to make ends meet.

That's why this is NOT just a cause for me to plug for clout, clicks, likes, or fame.

It's personal.

It's real life.

I wish more people understood that.

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